Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Rethinking Christian Domestic Discipline; other stuff

Smart Bitches, Trashy Novels took a look at CDD back on December 11, 2008. They, and the commenters, found it very, very disturbing.

So would I, if I'd only seen the site (and the book of short stories) they link to; my first reaction to learning of CDD was kind of a shocked horror. I got over it, obviously.

But then I saw this site, and...it's not my cup of tea, but they're *very* clear about their lifestyle being a consensual choice, not something imposed on them from above:
At this website, we believe that the Bible neither requires OR forbids corporal correction of wives.

And it's a group of women, creating a space to discuss their own chosen lifestyle, as well as running a lulu.com store to sell their fiction. I'm personally having a hard time seeing any aspect of that as coercive, abusive, or any less valid than other kinks. Hmmmm.

I don't mean to alarm anyone, but if you search for "Christian Lifestyle" under yahoo groups, the first two results are Naturist-Christians-org (which features one naked man and four naked women on its front page; not immediately suggestive of a Christian lifestyle, I'd have thought, but what do I know?) and christiandomesticdiscipline.

Moving on to the unintentionally funny: I stumbled across Brothers-Keepers, which is one of those "Christian" groups saving men from The Gay. How, you might be asking, can I possibly find a homophobic site funny? Well, I don't find it funny that it exists, but I did howl with laughter over the very homoerotic Jesus picture they've chosen for their front page. Dudes. Could you have found anything more slashtastic?

Friday, February 27, 2009

Further Domestic Discipline Links

This is by no means a comprehensive list (and neither is my first post on the subject), but it might prove useful anyway. In case you...have a sudden need to read spanking fic. Or you're writng a research paper or something. I don't know.


Vicki Blue's Spanking and Domestic Discipline is a site dedicated to real spanking in adult heterosexual relationships
. Well, you can't say it clearer than that. The site has essays, fiction, recommended reading, and you can sign up for an OTK (over the knee) newsletter. There are links to "sister sites," too, such as RetroSpank and Bethany's Woodshed. Those seem to be part spanking, part time travel; there's a tinge of nostalgia to a lot of spanking sites, actually. (See? You SO COULD write a paper about this.)

Elizabeth Burns' Domestic Discipline offers sound effects: In this site I have a number of things available to give more information about different types of DD relationships, as well as the ability to hear actual scoldings, spanking stories, letters and thoughts about DD relationships and details of actual DD relationships. I offer things in both written and audio clip format.

There is a Yahoo group for Domestic Discipline Personals, apparently still active.

There are books of DD stories; I'm just linking to one, because the "customers who bought this also bought" feature immediately produces a bunch more.

And Seek Discipline covers a broad range of things, including domestic discipline.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Was it good for you? ...okay, so WHY was it good?

Just for fun--okay, for procrastination, if you really want to know--last week I started googling to see what I could find about the effects of romance novels. Wow: there are a lot of dire predictions out there. I get the impression many people still believe we romance readers are melting our brains, jacking our expectations regarding relationships to unhealthy heights, and compensating for some dire lack in our own lives.

I don't feel particularly brain-melted myself, and I've very content with my life and relationships, so I'm just going to ignore that and move on to a more fun, and infinitely more sensible, question: what are romance novels good for?

A quick list of my own reasons for loving them:

1. They're an inexpensive mood-boosting treat for when I crave some fun, frivolous distraction. They have no calories, they aren't tested on animals, and when I buy them in ebook form I don't even have to dust them or recycle them.

2. Far from distorting my expectations about real life romances, they can, if I'm in the right mood, remind me of how much I appreciate real-life, down-to-earth, flawed human beings like myself. (Let's be honest here: any impossibly handsome man who rides up on a horse would just make me fall over laughing, and further down the road I'd probably end up strangling him in his sleep. Perfection would not actually be any fun to live with.)

3. Well-written romances can keep alive that small, hopeful spark of "there are good people out there, capable of love and commitment" even in the face of endless dreary statistics about divorce, dishonesty, infidelity, and ennui.
Maybe they even promote real-life romance. After all, it's been argued that appreciation of the athletic male form used to be considered an inducement for young women to marry. No, really: In the all-Greece Olympic Games there were restrictions for female spectators (even under penalty of death execution). Some authors state that all women were banned from watching the games whereas others insist that the ban was only for married women but unmarried women were allowed to be present. And in trying to find quotes on that, I just found one suggesting appreciation for female beauty was also used to lure men to marriage: The contests were restricted to unmarried girls, who competed either nude or wearing only skimpy dresses. Boys were admitted as spectators, a practice intended to encourage marriage and procreation.
So, there you go: maybe swooning over men-in-fiction (or women-in-fiction) could have the same effect. *grins*

4. Just having novels with women as main characters, and which treat women's desire/sexuality/romantic impulses as something worth thinking about, writing about, and discussing is a good thing, in my opinion. Or to put that in academia-speak, here, have a quotation from Dr. Virginia Lyn Neylon, Reading and Writing the Romance Novel: Popular romance novels provide images of women struggling in a patriarchal society and overcoming its obstacles and limitations to achieve happiness and fulfillment. They illustrate a female ideology where women and men form loving partnerships and work together in mutual support and understanding. They often rejoice in female sexuality and validate women’s wants and desires."
I especially like how the conversations that surround romance novels can end up being quite serious. What can start as a simple discussion of whether plot elements like rape, dubcon, or alcohol-as-disinhibitor are on your personal SquickList or Bullet Proof Kink List can spiral off into whole conversations about why women desire what they desire, whether desires should be catered to or regulated, and how culture reinforces certain desires, or possibly even creates them, while suppressing others. I love that.

So what about everyone else who reads them? What are romance novels good for?